I miss you already even if you are always with me, on me precisely.
I miss when you were so little that I was scared of sleeping with you when you could fit perfectly and lightly on my chest; when you were so light I could hold you in my harm without even notice it; I miss you sleeping on my chest all night long.
I’m scared and thrilled at the same time to see you growing. I adore your funny faces and your smiles melt our hearts, all of them.. I hope that feeling will never go away.
I love that you look at me now and you SEE me, I see you, my darling son.. I see your soul into your ocean eyes, I see the universe: you are the universe baby, your potential is infinite never forget it!
I love love love that with your hands (already not so tiny anymore) you find me, my face, my breast my hands and every day it feels more like you really want to do it. You have also found your hands, you like to hold them together and chew them and hold them softly in your cheeks like you are giving yourself a cuddle!
Now you sit with us in the evening (not on us!) and you like to gaze at the lights, smile, and you make some sweet little noises that I never want to forget. Sometimes you are just happy and entertained by a white wall! Other time you call our attention when we are too busy doing something meaningless, I love that!
You like to fall asleep in my arms in the bed, cuddle up like a baby bear. And Is the best best best thing ever together with breastfeeding: you really like your milk! We can see that from your extra chubby cheeks!
All-day in the sling.. baby you are getting heavy! But that’s what we like and next to my heart is where you belong .. you like it so much as soon as you are in you hug me like a baby baboon and fall asleep. Since I become your mother I’m in constant motion .. like literally.. I move and dance and swing and rock you day and night, and if you are not on me I find myself still rocking!
You cry quite a bit.. because that is how you initially react to things .. you cry so crazy with eyes closed and.. baby I know the world is overwhelming at times .. then you slowly decide to open your eyes and Sometimes you think it’s ok and other time I have to kiss you and sing to you and hold you tight .. and then you think it’s ok .. some other time you think whatever is happening is not ok and you cry and cry and cry.. and my heart brakes in millions pieces.
You are so cuddly! You are a coccolone as we say in Italy .. you like me I think and you like to be close to me and to hug me and when I hug you.
I feel I become more expert in what you need .. but still, I don’t have a clue if I’m doing things right .. I hope I am!
You still smell divine and you are the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen.
I think about your birth often .. and the moment I saw you for the first time .. thank you for coming to Isaac Wolf!
